So I mentioned being a 9

In one of my former posts, which is something I just recently read about, but something I've been thinking about for about 6 months.

It is very strange in a way......I picked up on the number 9 and the nanogram through the whole Slipknot 'behind the nine' and 'outside the nine' theme, and of course, their nanogram symbol.

I am so into the symbol that I needed one of my own, and my very talented wife created a family crest with a nanogram and our runic initials around it (on the main jadeherder.com site). So, why would I care about 9?

I actually came about it through discussion on the Slipknot symbol and whether or not it was Satanic. By the way, it's not. It is truly so far from Satanic in meaning that the reference is laughable.

The nanogram, 9 pointed star, represents unity and completeness in nearly every religion out there, and even more in numerologic study. It is the trinity of trinities, it is potential for achievement and greatness. It represents body, mind and spirit and a unification of all three. If you want to know more, there are lots of online references. I could really go on and on, from chakra-eastern references, to judeo-christian references, to pagan references (celtic, asatru and more....).

One more bit of background to the story.....One of the common portrayals of the figure is as an enneagram. This is a unique nine-pointed star in that it has 'legs' on the bottom, not completing a full circuit connection. It is used in personality profiling and is supposed to be representative of the 9 'types' associated with personality. So my mom, knowing all of this interest, brings me a book last week on the enneagram in work and relationships.

I read and look at the characteristics for each type and there it is, a 9. Now, we are all many numbers depending upon situation and mood and such, but the idea is to find your dominant type. 9 is a mediator. 9 is good, right? Well, sure, but only if I act. 9 has a tendency to be a sloth, for lack of a more appropriate word. If I get fired up about something, I can act upon it with great energy and success, but it has to be a cause outside of myself. I am horrible at even understanding/acknowledging my own needs, which leads to personal indecision and what appears to be radically impulsive behavior. I say appears to be because if I act for self, it is the result of an extended period of contemplation (and usually decline).

There is so much more on this that was appropriate for me, but I will stop with this for now, since I am not wanting to write a book today.
The main bit is, that although it is somewhat disheartening to have your own shortcomings laid out like that, especially if they ring true to you, it is also gratifying to know all of this with how I currently feel.
I am on the verge of something new. One of those radical changes (which maybe won't seem so radical since I have been speaking about it), and I am excited.
Corey painted a lovely picture of this 'rock bottom', with:
"I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go til it bleeds"

So I'm grabbing and I'm jazzed about it.
Later-E